Dance Etiquette
As it isn't taught very often in Huntsville, we wanted to post a page explaining some dance etiquette.
Also check out An Open Letter to Creepy Leads written by a swing dancer and therapist.
Finally, read Sketchy Guys by Richard Powers of the Stanford Dance Division. The article is how to avoid being a sketchy guy, (even if you don't know you're doing it).
- Traveling Dance vs Static Dance: Traveling dances move around the line of dance (counter clockwise). Examples are Foxtrot, Waltz, and Tango. Static dances, such as most swing, stay in a single spot. Many times, swing music also makes good foxtrot music. To accommodate both types of dancers, a little etiquette is required. Swing dancers and other static dancers should dance in the center of the floor as much as possible. On the other hand, traveling dancers should strictly attempt to stay around the outside of the floor. Static dancers on the edge or traveling dancers cutting through the center makes for a poor dance experience for everyone.
- When asking a follow to dance, the guy should walk to her table, request she dance, and see her to the floor. If the follow is clearly in a committed relationship, it is appropriate to ask the permission of their partner. Once the dance is over, the lead should escort the follow back to her seat. It is appropriate to ask her name and where she is from. A lead should avoid any more conversation unless it is requested by the follow. Particularly the lead should avoid any conversation on the floor as this impacts the dancers.
- Leads and Follows, there are signs that a follow wants to be asked to dance. The follow standing, near the floor, possibly dancing a bit in place, wants to dance. The follow sitting, back against the wall, facing away from the floor, talking to a friend, doesn't want to dance. Most follows fall somewhere inbetween. Follows, remember this as well. If you are sitting, against the wall, not facing the dance floor, etc, it will be interpreted as you not wanting to dance.
- Do not correct your dance partner! It is very likely that any mistakes you believe your dance partner is making, are being caused by your dancing or are simply not mistakes. It is very common for very new dancers or even dancers who have been dancing a long time to tell experienced teachers what they are doing wrong. Additionally, the same dancers will correct new and moderately experienced dancers. If you are correcting a teacher, it's a good assumption you are doing it wrong. If you are correcting a moderately experienced dancer, it's STILL a good assumption you are doing it wrong and that your partner will choose not to dance with you in the future. If you are correcting a new dancer, it's likely your teaching them bad habits or hurting their self esteem. The ONLY time you should correct a dancer is if they ask you for help.
- Do not dance more than a few dances (2-3) with the same person per dance. Very likely you are monopolizing their time and keeping them from being able to dance with other dancers. Very likely other dancers are NOT asking that person because you repeatedly ask them. This applies even if you know the person! Give everyone a chance and give yourself a chance to experience other dance partners.
- Blues swing, while fun, requires a bit of ... restraint. Watch this Educational Video for some ideas on your blues dance. If the link doesn't work, you can see it HERE.
- NO AERIALS. The only place people should do aerials are in the middle of a jam circle. Even then, the only people who should do them are experienced dancers, (normally at the level of performing regionally and teaching at least locally). Aerials are dangerous not just to you, but to your partner and those around you. If you don't feel you can dance an exciting dance without doing aerials, it is a good sign you are not experienced enough to do them! Aerials are forbidden at HSDS dances.
I also wanted to include some tips blatantly plagiarized from a tango website.
- NO BABYSITTING: Typical scenario: a lady is sitting down at a dance and is approached by a gentleman who then invites her to dance. Rather than reject him outright, she says 'no, not right now', that she is tired, taking a break, waiting for a friend, etc. Instead of walking away, the guy decides to SIT DOWN BESIDE HER and wait for her to be ready to dance with him! This man has just committed what I call "babysitting". I have seen both ladies and gentlemen commit this fiendish act. When someone says no, it means that you should stay away from him/her for a certain period of time. This leads me to the next rule.
- THE DURATION OF "NO": No means "No for a Little While". If you have been rejected, you cannot invite the same person to dance again at the beginning of the next song! Only after 2, 5, maybe more songs later should you consider asking that person to dance again. Don't be a Stalker. Often times the person who rejected you may even track you down to claim that dance later on when they are ready -- that is if they were truly tired in the first place.
- THE BARE FOOT "WHITE FLAG": Because rejection can be hard to take, one method devised by some ladies of communicating to the men that they are not accepting invitations at the moment is to take their shoes off. This serves as 'proof' that they really are taking a break, should anyone ask them. All they have to do is raise up the bare foot 'white flag'. They can rest the balls of their feet from those Aris Allens and not get hassled by potential dance partners. (On the flip side, they can also make a guy feel great if they do decide to dance when asked and say 'let me put my shoes back on for you'.)
- BE PERCEPTIVE: Pay attention to your potential partner's body language when you are getting ready to ask them for a dance. There are non-verbal signals that you should try to clue in to. Gentlemen, if you are headed towards a woman and she sees you and quickly turns away, reaches down to fiddle with her shoe strap, digs in her purse endlessly - it means she DOESN'T WANT TO DANCE. If she even jumps up and heads for the ladies room, don't persue her and grap her shoulder as she flees thinking 'maybe she didn't see me'. If she notices you and maintains eye contact, or smiles, or waves, or in general looks pleased that you are headed her way, then by all means ask her! If you are not sure, go over and say hello, and judge by her reaction whether she wants to dance.
Please be aware, Huntsville Swing Dance Society will take steps, when necessary to prevent inappropriate conduct at our dancers. Whether it is dangerous dancing or conversation/dancing that makes your partner feel uncomfortable, please be aware that your actions reflect on the entire society and must therefore be controlled.
